Our dyslexic and struggling elementary, middle, and high schoolers are “studying within an education system that highlights their weaknesses and does not reward their strengths.” ~John Hicks
Most people would agree that self-confidence is important. It is what allows you to pursue your goals and achieve your dreams.
Every child wishes to succeed in school and every parent dreams of their child being a proficient reader.
Studies have shown that children who learn to read at an early age are more likely to develop strong self-confidence.
And it makes sense when you think about it. After all, reading is a skill that requires practice and dedication. So, mastering this skill gives children a sense of accomplishment and pride – two important ingredients for self-confidence.
What about those children who have trouble learning to read?
If your child is caught in the vicious cycle of struggling to read and keep up in school, acting out to mask this difficulty, and the labeling and reprimanding of teachers who lack insight to see beyond their difficulty and behavior, they feel isolated from the other students, lose hope of attaining success, and develop a poor self- concept.
Are they therefore doomed to fail in school and life?
Some years ago, I learned about Kaizen… a Japanese concept of small but continuous change.
Making small, positive changes over time can result in significant improvements.
This is because repeated actions become self-reinforcing, and this can have a huge impact.
Depending on the action, the outcome/consequence… can be bad or good.
For example, a dripping faucet can cause a hole to form in the concrete below it. This is because those tiny drops of water will wear down the hard concrete over time.
On the other hand, if instead of allowing your children to develop avoidance habits that work to their disadvantage, you help them create habits that work to their advantage and empower them to read and learn, over time they will experience beneficial results.
Emotions work just like actions.
The more often your child feels an emotion, the easier it is for that emotion to happen again.
For example, if your child feels fear, embarrassment, or anxiety every time they are asked to read out loud, then that feeling will occur more frequently and get stronger over time.
The key is to help them feel good emotions as much as possible. This can be done by exposing them to positive experiences as often as possible.
When your child feels these emotions, the brain detects them and decides how to respond. Based on the frequency and intensity, it either speeds up or slows down how they feel.
You may be wondering what this has to do with confidence and reading.
It can be scary for your child to do something new for the first time.
If you have been praising them for their efforts, when they fail, they will be encouraged to continue trying after failing.
After trying many times, their brain will figure out how to do the new thing.
Once that happens, their brain releases some dopamine… its happy chemical messenger that creates a pleasurable feeling.
You know how you have an epiphany… an Ah-ha moment after trying to figure out something for the longest while?
That was a dopamine reward from your brain… a moment that made you feel happy.
This same “feel good” sensation makes your child work harder to experience it again. The more they experience these moments of realization, the more confident they become.
There is a strong link between self-confidence and reading. The children who are confident in their ability to read are more likely to persevere when they encounter difficult assignments, while those who lack confidence are more likely to give up.
Reading also provides an opportunity for self-reflection and self-discovery. As children read, they learn more about themselves and the world around them. They gain a greater understanding of their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences, as well as those of others.
This self-knowledge can be a powerful source of self-confidence. When they feel that they understand themselves and their place in the world, they are more likely to feel confident in their ability to meet challenges and achieve their goals.
So, for your children, self-confidence comes from the feeling that they are competent and able to learn new things.
Reading is an essential skill for acquiring new knowledge, so it follows that those children who feel confident in their ability to read are also confident in their ability to learn.
This confidence can then spill over into other areas of life, making your child feel more capable and self-assured.
On the other hand, children who struggle with reading are likely to feel less confident in their abilities, and this can impact their self-esteem and learning success in a negative way.
Reading plays an important role in building self-confidence. So, if you want to boost your child’s self-confidence and self-esteem, focus on helping them improve their reading skills.
That’s why I have created a program for parents of children who are struggling to read. In it, I show you how to help your children at home, engage in activities that elicit positive emotions in preparation for learning success.
Click here to chat at your convenience about helping your struggling child succeed – https://letsmeet.io/florencecallender/learning-assessment-call
I wish you were around when one of my granddaughters was struggling with reading and self-confidence. I enjoy your articles!
Thanks, Martha. I hope your granddaughter overcame her challenges and is doing well now.
I can certainly agree with this! Great post!
It is difficult to see your child struggle when they simply learn differently than the majority of their class at school. With large class sizes, teachers cannot give that independent help they so need. That was with my son, and we made the decision to homeschool, which made such a difference! I was able to spend the time he needed his reading with comprehension and was able to help him improve in areas where his previous teachers probably didn’t even know that he was struggling. He has good self confidence today!
Kudos to you, Angie, for being proactive about your son’s education. For most children who learn differently, homeschooling is the best option. Sadly, not every parent can choose that option. Thankfully, there are other alternatives from which they can choose. I pray that parents of these children understand that they do not have to depend on a school to educate their neuro-diverse children.
Great post, thanks for sharing!!
You are welcome, Kimberly. Thanks for reading it.
This seems like a great program, Florence. I hope you incorporate some tools from opensourcephonics that has proven beneficial in helping such kids read and thrive. (https://www.adjuvancy.com/wordpress/2021/11/19/reading-is-fundamental/)
Thanks, Roy, for your suggestion. I appreciate you.
Florence, I always feel so encouraged when I read your articles. I never knew or thought about reading capability generating confidence. I was blessed to have 2 educated parents who believed in their kids becoming educated. They taught us to read before first grade. You are awesome!
Kebba, it is indeed a blessing to have parents who are determined to give their children the best education possible. When their children learn differently, it is even more important to find ways to help them learn. Thanks for your continued support.
Like Kebba, I was fortunate to have parents who encouraged me to read, even though they didn’t actively try to teach me to read. At some point, when I was four, I figured it out. The schools don’t understand how to teach kids who don’t learn in the “usual way,” so they give the message that we are incapable in so many ways. That is why I tell my story about the difficulties that I had in school, not because I want to relive those years, but because I don’t want any other kid to live my nightmare. I want them to grow up feeling that they can and feeling lots of self confidence.
Thanks, Alice, for actively working to relieve the stress of children who learn differently. I applaud your parents for doing the best they knew, and you for never giving up on yourself, despite your challenges.