Education is always changing. In recent years, game-based learning has emerged as an innovative approach to education that offers a multitude of benefits for children with reading and learning difficulties.
At the beginning of my parenting journey, I came across this quote, “There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these…is roots, the other, wings.”
According to Quote Investigator, the earliest evidence of this saying comes from a book by a prominent 1953 newspaper editor, Hodding Carter, in which he said a “wise woman” said those words to him.
One day, I would like to meet Ms. Anonymous. Many profound statements have been made by her.
When I first learned that my daughter was dyslexic, I was crushed. The plans I had; the dreams I’d cherished disappeared the moment I read the dyslexia specialist’s evaluation report.
As in any other loss, I went through the grieving process.
Denial
First, I thought she had made a mistake. Perhaps my daughter had just misunderstood some of her questions and directions. My brilliant child could not have the D word.
Anger
“Why me?” I asked God. After all, I am the academic in my family. “Why would you do this to embarrass me?” My friends expected my daughter to be a genius. Now, instead I would be humiliated. I didn’t even know anyone with a dyslexic child.
Bargaining
If only I had spent more time teaching her the basics… If only I had homeschooled her… If only… If only… If only…
“Okay, God, I’ll do better. Can you make this go away?”
Depression
“I’m an introvert, so I’ll just keep to myself and tell no one,” I thought.
Acceptance
Finally, I arrived at a place of acceptance. This is the hand I was dealt, so God must have a good reason. After all, He said that all things work together for good to those who love Him. The time had come to buckle down, do some research, and tackle this monster. When all is said and done, I am more than a conqueror.
This was the point when I sat down, reflected, prayed, and made a plan. I am resilient – my mother taught me how. I am a winner – my father instilled that in me.
I picked up myself, dusted off my mental dross, and stepped out to vanquish dyslexia. I resolved to give my daughter roots and wings.
Roots so deep that no one could shake her belief in herself… her gifts and abilities.
Wings so wide that nothing would keep her from reaching her highest goal in life.
How to give your child roots and wings:
Most importantly, come to a place of acceptance quickly.
Make memories in elementary school:
Highlight her strengths and use them to build her weaknesses.
Counterbalance the negatives teachers and other authority figures pour into her.
Read about that in my first letter to her here.
Make memories during the middle school years:
Find and implement programs available to strengthen the weak skills. Not just the popular ones, but also try those that may only have anecdotal evidence. If they worked for someone else, they may work for you.
Travel. Let her see social studies in action in real life. Take her to various countries. Let her explore the real world.
Check out my letter recounting my daughter’s middle school experience.
Make memories while she is in high school:
Teach her self-advocacy. Help her discover how she learns and provide the support and encouragement for her to travel on her own. Let her build confidence in her ability to surmount the most challenging difficulties.
Discuss every topic she’s interested in. Be prepared for your knowledge and imagination to be stretched.
Give her space to grow into her personality. Look at her graduation letter here.
Be a safety net for her during her young adulthood:
When my daughter went away for college, I visited regularly, and we chatted on the phone frequently.
Her friends got acquainted with me and I became a mentor to some and a surrogate mom to others.
Throughout the years, at different intersections of life, my daughter thanked me for the way I raised her and the consistent support I gave.
She still has some challenges, but she has learned how to roll with them.
On the other hand, she has excelled in the areas of her gifting, and receives ongoing accolades.
Many years ago, I come across some books and tapes by Dr. Denis Waitley. This poem of his resonated with me, and I hope it does with you, too.
A poem to parents…from their teenage child If I had two wishes, I know what they would be I'd wish for Roots to cling to, and Wings to set me free; Roots of inner values, like rings within a tree, And Wings of independence to seek my destiny. Roots to hold forever to keep me safe and strong, To let me know you love me, when I've done something wrong; To show me by example, and help me learn to choose, To take those actions every day to win instead of lose. Just be there when I need you, to tell me it's all right, To face my fear of falling when I test my wings in flight; Don't make my life too easy, it's better if I try, And fail and get back up myself, so I can learn to fly. If I had two wishes, and two were all I had, And they could just be granted, by my Mom and Dad; I wouldn't ask for money or any store-bought things. The greatest gifts I'd ask for are simply Roots and Wings. By Denis Waitley
As you ponder the future, what is your major goal for your child?
What it takes some people 80 years to accomplish, Kobe Bryant achieved in forty-one. He exemplified the power of intention and focused attention.
“I didn’t feel good about myself if I wasn’t doing everything I could to be the best version of myself.” ~ Koby Bryant
He started playing basketball at three years. When he was six, his father retired from the NBA and moved their family to Italy to be able to continue playing at a lower level. While there, Koby began to play basketball on a serious level and his grandfather kept him supplied with videos of NBA games for him to study.
At the age of 13, his parents returned to the United States for good. Koby recalls his days of being an insecure little boy, with no friends. On top of that, he said,
“I couldn’t spell, so the teacher told my mother that I was probably dyslexic, it was like somebody took me and dropped me in a bucket … in a tub of ice-cold water, because it shocked me.”
His mother made sure he got the help he needed.
It was then that he decided to channel his anger from the challenges and frustrations of dyslexia into sports and went on to become one of the NBA’s all-time exceptional players.
He made a deal with himself to stay focused on his goal and not be distracted by anything. He resolved to work hard every day, so that he could retire with no regrets, when that time came.
Kobe had an excellent work ethic and pushed himself to live the best way he knew how. Because he was super-focused on his craft, the world became his library. He looked at everything with this question in his mind, “How can this help me to become a better basketballer?”
He believed in playing with structure… with discipline. He believed in self-competition… always asking himself, “Is this the best I can do?”
Another concept he held was that you can learn more from your failures than your successes. He said that, “True strength comes from your vulnerability.”
He would review previous games with one of his coaches, then while playing, he was able to slow the game down in his mind and position players for optimal results. (a dyslexic strength) When a weakness emerges, the answer is there if you look at it.
With all his successes, he took time to be kind to those who would never be able to reciprocate. Did you know that he made over 200 Make A Wish kids’ dreams come true?
Here are 10 of his rules for success, gleaned from his various speeches:
He had an insatiable desire to learn more.
Listen to his final motivational speech here.
Which rule would you choose to motivate a struggling child in your life?
The one constant about dyslexia is its inconsistency. Each child’s encounter is unique. Even when two children have difficulty in the same area, reading for example, their struggle has different nuances.
Listen to dyslexic 2nd-grader, Maya, talk about her reading challenges.
Now, Jade gives a heartbreaking account of her 8th-grade dyslexic reading experience. Look through her eyes here.
Yesterday, you walked through one day at school with Henry.
Today, it’s your turn to experience what a dyslexic child sees when she reads. Here’s a fun way to understand and appreciate why learning and thinking differences can be so frustrating.
Go ahead and try a dyslexia reading simulation. Click the link below.
How did you feel while trying to complete the reading task in the allotted time?
Most dyslexic children do not want to get out of bed on a school day. The younger ones may still be tired after a long night completing home work. In addition to that, the older ones have social issues – being called dumb or lazy, being stared at or whispered about behind their backs.
Follow Henry through one day at school.
Has your child ever pretended to be sick to avoid going to school?
What did you do?
The most common struggle dyslexics experience is an inability to read. They have extreme difficulty identifying letters, converting those letters into sounds and putting them together to make words.
During the times of the apprenticeship era, there was not the great need to read as there is today. People learned by observing and doing. Kinesthetic learning was the norm.
With the dawn of the industrial revolution, however, there arose the need to educate the masses to work in the resulting businesses.
The invention of the printing press merged perfectly with this need for mass education. This made it possible to put knowledge into a system that could be spread out on a national level. Hence, the proliferation of textbooks. Only then did those with dyslexic minds begin to have problems.
According to Dean Bragonier, founder and executive dyslexic of NoticeAbility, the dyslexic mind is able to “look at a situation, identify seemingly disparate pieces of information and blend those into a narrative or tapestry that makes sense” to them. Most people are unable to perceive the situation in the same way.
This ability translates into levels of exceptional success needed in some vocational paths, for example, entrepreneurship, engineering, architecture and the arts.
In spite of that, they are at a great disadvantage during their years in school.
There are three ways of accessing information: eye reading (print books), ear reading (recorded or audiobooks), and finger reading (braille). While information is commonly made available in braille for blind children, dyslexic children are mandated to eye read print books, and when they have trouble doing so, are labeled as lazy, stupid or unmotivated to learn.
Ear reading is not new. As early as 1931, the American Foundation for the Blind and the Library of Congress Book for the Blind Project established the Talking Book Program. Here is an abridged history of audiobooks:
1934: The first recordings are made for the Talking Book Program and include parts of The Bible, The Declaration of Independence, and Shakespeare’s plays.
1948: The Recording for the Blind program is founded (in 1995 renamed Recording for the Blind and Dyslexic, and in 2011 renamed Learning Ally).
1952: Caedmon Records is formed in New York and is a pioneer in the audiobook industry.
1955: Listening Library is founded and is the first to distribute audiobooks to libraries and schools.
1970s: Libraries start carrying audiobooks.
1985: Publishers Weekly identifies 21 audiobook publishers including Caedmon, Recorded Books, Books on Tape, Harper and Row, and Random House.
1980s: Bookstores start to display audiobooks on bookshelves instead of in separate displays.
1986: The Audio Publishers Association is created.
1997: Audible debuts the first digital audio player.
2011: Audiobook self-publishing becomes possible with the Audiobook Creation Exchange (ACX).
2012: Audiobook annual publication increases 125% from 7,200 to 16,309.
(Source: The Audio Publishers Association)
Dyslexic clinical psychologist, Dr Michael Ryan, gives some recommendations when using audiobooks:
With this longstanding history, I wonder why aren’t schools more accepting of ear reading as a method for testing the knowledge of those children who are dyslexic, and audiobooks for textbooks?
What has been your experience with audiobooks?
Have you used recorded textbooks for your children?
In 1967, Johnson and Myklebust stated that “a child who cannot read cannot write.” That makes sense, since some researchers, in their 2010 and 2011 studies, found that “reading and writing rely of related underlying processes.”
Just as they do with reading, most children with dyslexia have trouble with writing. This is demonstrated in a number of ways, for example, poor spelling, illegible penmanship, narrow vocabulary, weak idea development, and a lack of organization of thoughts.
You may hear a dyslexic child say, “I know what I want to say, but I just can’t write it down.”
Marianne Mullally, an Australian educator, explains it simply:
Just like their reading can be improved with time and various strategies, the writing of dyslexics can get better with explicit instructional strategies.
Keep in mind that reading must be worked on first. Michael Clark gives parents some tips and tricks to help their dyslexic children with their writing skills:
Now, here’s a fun activity. If you are non-dyslexic, do this exercise to experience what it is like for a dyslexic to take notes:
How did you do? Please share your thoughts with us.
Parents usually assume that their children are seeing normally. That’s not always the case.
According to the American Optometric Association, up to 80% of a child’s learning in school is through vision! This makes you child’s visual health extremely important.
Did you know that 1 in 10 children has a vision problem that’s significant enough to impact their learning? In the United States, that translates to over 5 million children.
Three vision skills necessary for optimal learning are:
Visual Acuity
When you take your child to the pediatrician, he gets a typical vision screening. Have you ever wondered if those screenings are foolproof? The National Center for Biotechnology Information says that at least 50% of vision problems are missed by typical screenings.
In addition to that, being assured that your child has 20/20 vision only tells you he can see at a distance. It does not dismiss the possibility of visual focusing, coordinating or tracking problems – all related to learning.
Convergence
Both eyes must work together, effortlessly and without hurting. That’s convergence. When they don’t quite work together, most likely, the child will sees words on a page bounce around. The child may then tell you that the words are blurry or swimming.
Most children under seven years will assume that everyone sees like they do and say nothing.
When this eye-jumping happens in a classroom, the child may complain of feeling tired, headaches (across the forehead, above the eye brows), and/or aching eyes. Some children tilt over to one side to read, thus creating a way to read with only one eye. For these children, reading is linked with distress and comprehension of what is read is low.
Convergence problems can also cause writing problems, because of poor hand-eye coordination.
Visuospatial Attention
Skilled readers are able to focus on individual words within a cluttered page of text, and after a word has been identified, they must rapidly shift their gaze to fixate on the next word in the line. These changes in visuospatial attention must occur rapidly and accurately to enable fluent reading of a page of text.
When the eyes do not move smoothly along together, the child skips words and phrases, or entire lines while reading.
A 2007 study showed that dyslexics have visuospatial attention deficits that parallel their deficits in some linguistic measures, like verbal short-term memory.
Does your child
It may be dyslexia, or it may be learning-related vision problems.
Be observant!
If you suspect your child is having vision problems, contact the College of Optometrists in Vision Development to locate a developmental optometrist in your area.
Have you ever had to take your child for vision testing because of learning difficulties?
A child’s high school experience can be pivotal. For a dyslexic, it’s an even greater achievement, considering that 35% of dyslexics drop out of high school.
My dearest K,
I can’t believe this time has come. You never thought you would achieve this much. But our God has been faithful! You are at the end of High School, and it’s your graduation day. Well done, my child!
Some Things Remain
Testing seemed to have been the first order of high school. Those pre- and post- IOWA tests seemed to be written in a different language and the New York State Regents examinations loomed ahead and you didn’t know what to expect. Now, the bulk of schoolwork had to be done at home, since school hours were spent in discussions and experiments.
You still struggled for hours, every night, to complete your homework assignments; and your late nights made it difficult to wake up early for school, the next day. But you pushed on. It was a blessing you had the Learning Ally audio textbooks to accompany your print books.
You still weren’t very motivated to go to school, but you went, without complaining.
Do you remember how, in addition to your school, you had to work through those brain exercises and the Learning Ears program? It seemed like intervention programs would never end, but I kept pushing and encouraging you.
A New Experience
High school was different from elementary and middle school. For you, it was a good change. Here students were expected to be responsible and you were no longer dependent on teachers.
The many intervention programs began to pay off. You’re reading better and not afraid to be called to read in class. You learned tips and tricks of blending with the crowd and appearing “normal,”
You were involved in more student interaction and collaborations and were accepted into the groups without question.
Teachers
Your teachers here were empowering and less punitive.
Your 9th grade homeroom teacher set the tone and spiritual foundation for your high school experience. She was kind, supportive, friendly, yet demonstrated excellent classroom control.
Your 12th grade homeroom teacher and Digital Media teacher (whom we found out later is also dyslexic) were great cheerleaders.
You history teacher taught you much about the philosophy of living, and kept you curious about life and the world.
I don’t know what you told him, since you determined not to let anyone in your school know you were dyslexic, but it was admirable of your Bible teacher to allow you to take his scripture memorization tests verbally, rather than written.
Your science teacher, Ms. A., took the crown. She was focused on your success. She was the reason you scored so high on the Biology Regents. She taught you how to explain yourself verbally and on a written test. She moved around the class and met you and your classmates on your level. The atmosphere she created in her classroom made it easy to ask any question, and not feel ridiculed. Along with that, she seemed to put extra effort into getting you to the point of clarity, then remembered to celebrate your successes and cheer you on to the next level. All in all, she made learning fun, and your high school experience enjoyable.
Your teachers didn’t seem bent on embarrassing you, but allowed you to take responsibility for your decisions and actions.
Friends
It was easier to relate to your classmates and you acquired female friends. Even when you misspelled or verbally mixed up words and phrases, your friends just laughed, corrected you and moved on. When you didn’t understand some concepts, they chuckled and explained it. It just wasn’t a big deal!
What relief I felt that you maintained a pleasant demeanor and displayed no more evidence of daily anxiety. The communal atmosphere certainly added to what I was doing to build your self-esteem. You took your inclusion in activities and the respect shown to you as evidence of your friends’ trust.
To top it off, your peers considered you to be smart.
Successes
Your work ethic began to pay off – you are reading better.
More importantly, you now understand the implications of your different thinking style and have discovered how to teach yourself to learn, and developed a personal manifesto:
Finally getting a grasp of how you learned helped you prepare for and pass you exams.
Your high school experiences helped you see that, although you may learn and see the world differently from others, the foundation for success is the same.
You made a conscious decision to pass and be a success in life.
Do you remember the knot-board you created for your club assignment? It was so creatively organized – so exceptional – the club director kept it as a sample to show future members.
Your decision to be intentional about your success permeated every area of your life.
You are admired by young people and adults alike.
Today, you graduate Valedictorian of your class. Yes! VALEDICTORIAN!!!
You deserve every moment of your celebration!
Look out College. Here she comes!
Love,
Mom
How has your child overcome personal challenges to achieve success in some area of life?
Only a few people have won an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony Award (EGOT). Caryn Elaine Johnson is one of them.
She was born on November 13, 1955 in Chelsea, New York and grew up in a housing project with her brother and mother, who was a nurse and later became a Head Start teacher.
In school, she was called “slow,” “dumb,” “lazy,” or “retarded.” She wasn’t diagnosed with dyslexia until she was an adult, so when school kept getting harder and harder, she eventually dropped out at 17. With her self-esteem low, she traveled a turbulent road in life, which included poverty, drug addiction, single motherhood, welfare, and a series of wide ranging jobs.
In his interview for the Child Mind Institute, the founder, Dr. Harold Koplewicz, called her a woman of grit and resilience.
Today, we know her as Whoopi Goldberg, actress, comedian, radio host, television personality, author and UNICEF International Goodwill Ambassador. Listen to her recall some of her challenges and her mom’s support in her interview with Quinn Bradlee:
She counsels parents to be supportive of their dyslexic children – “Stop trying to find a reason why it happened… It’s not your fault… Pay attention to how your child is doing stuff.”
Then, listen to her speak at the Goodwin College 2018 Commencement where she counsels the graduates, after receiving an honorary Doctorate of Humane Letters.
How can you build your child’s self-esteem at home to combat the negative labels in school?