Letters can be very personal and are often treasured by the receiver, so I’ve penned another letter to my daughter.
My dearest K,
You have hated every minute in school and never thought you would have made it this far. But, here you are at the end of the eighth grade. Congratulations, my child!
Struggles
My heart ached every time I saw how difficult it was for you to read out loud. We would practice your scripts and Bible verses for church, until you had them memorized. But those times when you were called on suddenly, because the church leaders perceived you to be such a brilliant young lady, I was embarrassed for you, as you labored to get through the readings.
Then there was the dreaded school. Every day. I made you go even when you complained of feeling sick, because I thought you were trying to escape. Unlike your third grade teacher, you middle school teachers did not understand the challenges of dyslexia, neither did they seem to want to.
I cringe every time I think of the public humiliation you endured, dying a thousand deaths every day. My heart aches when you recall how a teacher would unmercifully keep embarrassing you for reading aloud haltingly. Or making derogatory statements when you didn’t quite process and understand her question, preferring to think you hadn’t prepared at home, when you had spent many hours doing so, and fell into bed exhausted, every night.
No wonder you preferred hanging out with the boys. Unlike the girls who sat around talking about the books they were reading, they ran and jumped and played games you could identify with and feel accomplished.
Spelling continued to haunt you. Now, even more than before considering the difficulty of the assigned textbook.
Do you recall your difficulty reading social cues and showing appropriate behavior for different places? There was that time when you were playing with classmates instead of lining up and you were punished by having the class treasurer job – the one thing you exceled at and cherished, taken away. That was very poor judgment and downright mean of the teacher.
I can only imagine the way your experiences eroded your trust in adults who glossed over the tasks you accomplished, but humiliated you for the ones you did not do because you did not know how.
Successes
On the other hand, do you remember how you learned to find your orientation point so you stopped your mind’s eye from roaming and getting you disoriented? And the clock technique that helped you go to sleep at night and wake up in the mornings?
Then, I got you that music listening therapy program to tune up your ears and your brain and you learned that your brain is musical. As your listening improved, so did your singing voice.
When we started to travel to other countries, your eyes were opened and your mind exploded when you realized that there was more to life than the struggle at school, and more ways of expressing yourself and viewing intelligence. You were permanently changed.
Traveling gave you an opportunity to see what you learned in books come to life. You observed firsthand, different cultures, food, governments and ways of life. Theory was now real.
Added to that, our extended family dynamics allowed you to ask any question and get an answer, without making you feel stupid.
You have worked so hard and so diligently.
I continue to be very proud of you.
In spite of the challenges you encountered because of dyslexia, you courageously plowed ahead and conquered them.
You are getting better, every day.
Today, you graduate with high honors.
You deserve every moment of your celebration!
Now, on to High School. I’m in your corner and you will succeed!
Love,
Mom
What positive experiences can you reinforce in your child to counter the struggles they experience, every day?
